Chapter 18

Wanting to see results

The tendency to turn up the volume

In meeting with pastors and religious people of the Christian belief system we feel that the pressure is always there to feel as if somehow we should step aside and take on the position of the follower or student. Now for most, that probably would come naturally anyway but for those with a highly developed mentality and conscious, especially when combined with a long spiritual walk, it somehow seems to indicate an inherent fault in the system itself. Their ways and entire set up demeanor insists that you look within yourself, at any of the numerous inherent potential flaws you may feel insecure about personally, a well developed defensive reaction kicks in but the reaction often issues no defense because you can not disprove what is being told to you by this institution and there numbers and joint practice of regimen seems larger than you. Your reaction is a natural development to make you feel the need to be subservient to the doctrine and the other believers there who are supposedly more in line with truth and all things good. The tendency for one to come inside and find a place among the subservient and feel a sense of comfort comes over most people in easily when they find the right type of place. People once indoctrinated can be allowed to feel as though they can be well served so long as they shield the state of their ideas and all the factors that make up and define it. In a way it is like a cult but just more powerful because you can take it with you and nothing can break it as the rest of reality just is supposed to somehow not get it.

The interweaving of the by products from this desire to belong and be safe in this life and the thrives as it creates as the combined individuals jointly struggle to protect their views in order to maintain this comfort is just as alarmingly to a an individual who has the ability to objectively view it as it is compelling to those who do not see they are caught up in it. We would go so far as to suggest that on many levels it is consuming the truth and original purity of those who were once pure and faithful and eating them alive from within.  If it were psychology we would call it a psychosocial crisis. A person feels they are learning and growing but actually have stopped. We have observed a cult like mentality in many of the followers which is continually surprising how few see it for what it has become. Christianity is one of the largest religions in the world and I happen to be a believer in Jesus' teachings myself but I rarely find myself calling myself a Christian because of my conscious awareness of the potential for negative connotation associate with the word. I find it baffling how the church itself can find itself can be seen from some perspectives as caught in the same exact predicament that the Jews found themselves in when they fell over the same type of stumbling blocks in the relation to the failings of man. They became caught up in the doings of man and their own weaknesses as the few men who came into power over them transformed the meaning of the word and the ramifications it had over men into intents and outcomes that were not of the word but in many cases the complete opposite. The chapter on stumbling blocks directly describes how we believe this has occurred.

I grew up in a world where my church was the most significant part of my life other than myself, my parents, and my school. The message I continually received from my church is that a terrible hell awaited me unless I believed in Jesus, so that I my sins could be forgiven and then corrected. I do not have much problem believing in Jesus because I find that overwhelmingly the things which he taught during his life about 2000 years ago I today see demonstrated everywhere in the world in incredible detail every day. To me consciously, and from the walk I have been taking it just makes the most sense.

I do not have a problem admitting my sins because I was born without my knowledge and without asking and thus come from a dark place of unconsciousness and unconscious decision into full consciousness. In realizing this we can see that it is not that far of a stretch to admit to ourselves logically, that while we were developing into that fully aware conscious state we surely must have fallen short of the best we could do for ourselves and others and the world. It is not too hard of a stretch to even say that being born of man and his inherent flaws or propinquity towards a perspective that can not see all things is inherently one of a limited conscious and if sin is the absence of man to see the entirety of the purpose the creator divinely created him for than out of that dimness until light illuminates each man individually, surely comes sin. In this unconscious period of time that we can fairly surely assume and conclude perhaps that not all our actions were fully aware actions and chosen from the best of over all perspectives and can thusly conclude we are some what sure of having failed ourselves and if you believe than also failing your God, and perhaps even mankind in some way while in that stupor of dark unknowingness that one could in and of itself view as similar to a definitive state of sin a s a definition.

This is where our point of view comes into play. It is more about the third thing, repentance. The ever constant need of it creates and fosters this need to feel subservient and listen to man. Should the need to repent be constant. Does man fall repeatedly constantly having to be lifted back up? Getting this one wrong can change everything. According common interpretations through Christian teachings believers can believe and know of their sin but then also have asked forgiveness and have been forgiven. It is far less common to believe this holds. If it did man would lose their grip on the spiritual guidance of the relationship followers had with their spiritual walk. They would possibly feel empowered to walk with Jesus on their own and perhaps even leave or grow into whole other directions. This would for those left behind not indicate growth, it would not foster a feeling of wellness and safety. It would produce the opposite effect. The individuals leaving could genuinely be feeling he personal relationship with Jesus Christ and being lifted up as there whole life expands and the light is seen and the rest of the followers would not only not nurture it but discourage it because it threatens their needs for normality and sense of comfort and safety. No the need for constant repentance and viewing the interpretation in that way much better serves the intent of the continuance of what the weaker partitioners desire. Here in lies the largest problem with congregating with many of those who are in the church for the wrong reasons and get caught up in this trap.

So now that I am consciously aware of much and in my heightened conscious state have become aware of an enhanced ability to understand all things on some level of the conscious even through fathoming the infinite can be used to bring about good- is it even possible for me to still sin and need constant confession and repentance in order to assure my path avoids the end result of hell? I do not think so but I wish I was sure that is where the desire for comfort can first be seen by the observing conscious. Keep it there and you have a chance to beat it Go past it and risk succumbing to ever device of false comfort known to man. I understand the tremendous human need that man has to feel they know for sure but resist it with all my might. It is imperative that my conscious continually develop if for no other reason than just to help give more strength to the act of my doing that one thing. If you can develop the ability to do this one thing we will have helped.

Let us us show the harsh cruel reality of how this need to constantly be renewed is a device of man for the purposes of man and a stumbling block by siting this simple example written in the gospels about Jesus' example and request.

When Jesus saw the adulterous woman in the courtyard and upon seeing she was to be stoned immediately Jesus' call to action was to have he that is without sin cast the first stone. When all one by one silently realized that they could not consciously pursue the course of stoning the woman because they realized in their unconscious past that they too must have also sinned they departed. Jesus when seeing that all had left asked the woman where her condemners were? She replied that they had gone away. Jesus told her that he would not condemn her either. It is important to realize what he has also said that he had not come to the world to judge it but to save it but the judgement would come later by God. Jesus then told the woman to leave here life of sin and go and sin no more. Sin no more.

Do you see how contrary this runs to what we have been talking about and how fostering this idea would take the church in a direction that could weaken what they have currently worked so hard to set up? This is one of those special things that can help the lone individual to see and learn and break through the trappings that others can find themselves caught up in. The ability to realize the power that this perspective offers over the realities of the problems in the church created from man faulty leadership over those who are weak and needy is why and how we can believe in a personal relationship with the creator through Jesus the son of God and the living word. We believe he would have not asked the woman to go and do something if it were not possible to truly do it. We can believe through conscious awareness and faith in Jesus and from a heightened ability to learn form the circumstances demonstrated by man and to see them for what they are that we can come out of our sinful original nature as humans and leave it behind. We believe that is exactly what that passage allows for and why so few see that and want to acknowledge it. Instead the focus of anyone that you may hear teach about it would be on the next day and how she would over come what new sinful challenges await her and what she will do when she again fails. This second more common focus is self serving and holds the believer captive to the false teachings of man and there trappings. Most Christians do not see it the way that it is and judge those who do not. They do this once again because they must in order to continue their sensed actual needs originating from their own darkness and neediness will be continually met. As such, most say we need constant confession and repentance or our heart will not be right with God and we will be doomed to hell regardless of what we once may have said, felt, and believed in a fleeting instant.

Seeing the light and fearing the wrath for not seeing it are two completely different things. It is illogical to see the light of the living word through Jesus who is the word and one with God can then another day leave the person empty and in the dark again. It just does not make sense. When we look at the reasons we have studied here it all begins to make sense so we see now how the need for conscious development, heightened mentality and a personal spiritual walk can help you cut through the snares that are readily awaiting other men who do not strive to gain what we are offering in this book. This example offers you something very concrete and easy to see. Remember it and study it. View it all around you and each time you do you will know that you can see something you did not before and you will have received a great gift. Even if you do not believe in the story itself or in Jesus when you view those that are doing exactly what we say and see how this perspective could easily lift them past what binds them and they do not do so you can see the powers of what we are sharing with you and how the forces we are teaching about are at play.

So once again regardless of secular or religious view this stuff is real and you can gain insight and benefit from developing your conscious awareness and increasing your mentality. I only ask this one thing of you to remember. All I have gained I have gains out of my spiritual al with Jesus. I attribute it to that and label it as such. You can take what you gain and call it whatever you choose but remember me as an example of how it can also be done this way. Remember how unusual it is for you if you are coming from a nonreligious perspective that these things can also come from a man's spiritual walk. We do not say they have to but just as we believe that God can work with people who do not desire to pursue and find him we ask ask that you see how God can work with those that do.

So this is what we have concluded, even though admittedly, how can we not still somewhat concerned of the possibility of concluding wrong and going to hell because of the possibility of the wrongness of our choice, or if you do not believing those types of negative circumstances, once again consider whether your conclusions are concrete and whether positive or negatives can come from them as you stand on them for all time. We have shown how the way of man causes a set up of a need to have man continually be subservient to other men as priests and that is not the way man is to be any longer as Jesus walks with each of us in a perfect and unique spiritual relationship through him as the living word. I believe that the world that does not see that only wants to continually go the rouge that they can somehow be more comforted by doing things and believing a certain way and saying certain things and hearing the paster say certain things etc., and viewing everything a certain way so as to convince themselves that that comfort they receive on a regular basis makes it easier to live than trusting and having faith in an unseen though personal relationship with Jesus when you find that what you are feeling and seeing in the living word and according to the Holy Spirit is different than what other men may say who call them self believers and look at you in judgment. Jesus said not to judge lest you be judged as you judge and said not put you faith in man or call any man father and because the temple curtain was torn in the holiest of holies upon the death of Jesus I believe that what I believe is of Jesus and is right.

Unfortunately these things are only things I believe and can not be proven to myself or others. I believe that even when I do things that others would call sin if given the chance it actually is not sin but simply artifacts from my old sins and from the different path I am on as various comings and goings manifest themselves along the way and reveal where I am going, and where I have been. Because of my up bringing and because I can not know this for certain and refusal to try to may myself feel as if I do through adoption of the many psychological comfort mechanisms of man I go my own way and trust it is of the person spiritual walk with Jesus that no one else shares just the same experience or understanding thus we can not judge.

Not judging is good but can seem to carry a high price. This is the source of my greatest stress because I can never have assurance and can never compare with anyone else and must constantly trust that what I believe is correct. This has made me immensely analytical over the the years and as a result has given me the power and ability to share with you in this book as I am so doing now. So here I am, I have a very healthy awareness. I am aware of all things and have unlearned what I had learned from a child and relearned it and know why and how I believe what I do and am writing a book to give other people the ability to do what I have done. So why am I not more joyous? We have a promise that is supposedly even better than being the chosen people. We have a personal relationship with God. Why am I no more joyous. My faith is too small and I see the ways of the world and even those in it that are supposedly good and doing right by God also but differently from me and I find stress and uncertainty that never brings comfort. I am concerned about the hard road ahead of me and the difficulties my family will find on it as well. I am also concern for you, my fellow mankind. Why would you want to listen to me if once you become consciously at your highest level you may find the same pitfalls of emotion and unhappiness as I can tell you that I must confront daily? Have you seen the movie the Matrix? If you have you will understand that when Neo wakes up after being removed from the matrix and finds out what the matrix is from the outside looking in he is glad to have had it reveled but sad by what the reality is that he now sees in front of him. In this same sense I share a joy but also a sorrow and I believe these very same emotions were a part of the every day life of Jesus. Remember that Jesus did not come to bring peace or judgement either but only the light of truth. When one receives this light they are fortunate but it is also a heavy responsibility because they can truly see and what they truly see is not necessarily what you would label as good. Yes you can see the glass is half full of water but you can also see it is half empty at the same time. Such is the perspective of a truly enlightened individual. The comfort however is that you understand it is this way with in the allowance of the laws of the universe and not in defiance of them and it does not have to be this way so there is hope.

Even though our preparation took a long time we have reached the level that I have quickly toward the end thus have rather suddenly become aware of all that has unfolding in my life whilst I was getting here and now see how much work has to be done. I am a financial wreck. I see the ways of the world and how they have serve money and while I used money far more than I should have I was never a servant to is I now see how I was a servant to those that had money and that is just as bad as being a servant of money itself. I am still in its binds and can see no way out. So the problems are right there in my face. How do you cope as you find similar or different problems? Everything with a developed conscious is magnified and nothing escapes your scrutiny on virtually every level. How will you act in the most practical sense? I find myself saddled with things like extra houses I can not sell because of the market and falling financial state of this country and the world. There are no quick easy fixes how will you deal with things of this nature when you suddenly wake up and start to apply some of that which I am teaching you to do? Do you have too many flat Screen tvs and cars? Do you have more than you need regardless if you can pay for it or not. Have you seen the end of the movie Schindler's List? Will you realize too late how much more you could have done with conscious awareness? How many more could you have helped. Could you have helped yourself? There are no easy answers only the ever need for higher and higher mentality through conscious. It is better to see and see what is wrong along with what is right than not to see things for what they are. It is not easier but it is better. What I offer you is the better-ness though depending on where you come from it can still be a quite pill to swallow.

What does one do when they reach the point of a very healthy awareness of all things and is then aware that he is saddled heavily with the feeling that little can be done about the problems that are seen? Depression can settle in surely if one is not careful. This must be prepared for and battled ahead of time as much as possible. In order to not have new problems settle on you once you have reached a higher plane it becomes necessary to do two things. One is to have a sense each day by one's thoughts and actions and words that one can become actively engaged in utilizing them to the best of one's ability. Confidence in that is key. Did you go through the day and have a high conscious point of view consistently that altered all your actions in a more positive direction then otherwise you would have done if you were oblivious to what you now see with your developed conscious? And the second thing that is just as important is to work on finding the patience and faith that what you are doing is having positive results even if you can not perceive this.

Consider this- It is only logical that inflicting positive thoughts and actions in the the world must be better than inflicting negative ones. The question is whether or not your conscious awareness is qualified to tell the difference. The results are so small incrementally that the resulting effects can not always be sensed. Exercise all restraint in taking care and not turning up the volume on what you do and present to the world just to amplify your need to see an effect. This need comes out of weakness and most always delivers less then the best result you are capable of. Remember enlightenment comes from a highly developed conscious but once you are there and you realize just how much you do not and can not know once again the enlightenment can seem to fail you. This is when faith becomes so important in the absence of certainty and understanding.

I feel a powerful calling to speak of that which I am speaking on now however I have not noticed a particular calling that could be held up in comparison to the callings I have heard about in the Bible such as direct contact with man through God like with Moses and the burning bush or Jonah and the whale. Voices, visions. etc do not seem to happen like that in our world. I realize that those writings were from a time when God was separated from the direct presence of man and if you are inclined to give credit to such things you might look to something like that to see if you are called. We can not simply utilize feelings we have to serve as excuses to say we have callings. Everyone has feelings. If I had a dollar for every killer or wrong doer that said they heard a calling and was trying to serve God I would be quite wealthy. It would be nice to have a calling and know it though even those that were reported to have one were still reluctant to follow it and had the same doubt I have now. Things are the same in our world today but also different. I believe this is a byproduct of the differences between the old and new covenant and how man relates to God differently in each through the design given him and the world in each by God. I believe what I have to say is a task worthy of Moses but I have not had a calling like his.  It is only a belief and nothing in my life has happened to substantiate it yet. This can be a difficult experience waiting and wondering about a calling. What good it a highly developed conscious if you can not get anything out of it and it can not serve you in other ways other than just being aware and intuitive? My calling is only the ability to see.  There is no light or burning bush in my world but only the ability to see alone.  How can you be sure enough to act and take comfort with out being certain? This is the source of my doubt.  This is the source of my continued need for analysis of all things.  At what level if any will I ever come to an ability to know that on which I stand?  Faith of a mustard seed is all I will ever have it seems.  Would that ever be truly enough to move these mountains?  Is it enough to lift the first word toward the attempt to in the first place that is my ultimate fate and final question in my life.

Once I embark on that road there will be more questions but probably none higher or harder than that first one.  This is what a highly developed conscious brings.  If it was something people desired I could make a lot of money off it but it is something that is worthy and needed but not necessarily desired and not even searched for or realized it should be sought and valued.  This is how one knows that they are on the road less traveled and how one knows that the ideas I am discussing are real and lead somewhere.

Truth and insightful mentality can be a blessing but it can have the impression on one that it is a curse especially when all those around you constantly in their state of unseeing, cause you to doubt and lose faith.  This becomes the dilemma of the highly developed conscious.  Your own weakness is your own weakness and only you can continue to afford yourself that weakness or allow it to die but in order to make the most informed conscious decision and trust it, you must make it at the highest moment and at the most likely moment that you are most in harmony with truth and awareness.

What if death comes before this happens for one?  Do you see the tension that can exist for the truly mentally conscious inspired?  It is a different kind of a burden then the regular person ever has to face. If you are reading this book you may come to have to face it one day.  What decision will you make? If you are already seeing the wisdom of these words and ideas contained within, there is a good chance you will get to this level and go higher.  Your time is coming.  Take it seriously and be slow to act so that when you do your effect may be great but may also be right and good.