Chapter 19

What I see.

What to do with it.


I feel a great sense of uncommon wisdom. I asked for it and sough it nearly 20 years ago and feel it has been given. I feel that I see what the prophets saw in many ways but I can not prove it so I am torn as to whether to say it, and if I do say it, how to say it and who to say it to. I see a world closing in around man and time running out. I see a storm coming. I see the devices and trappings of this world defined by and defining man for what they are, both within and without religion and the church. I have come to understand how they originate and what they do. I need to hear very little news in order to understand the core of the daily developing stories. I have attained a high conscious mentality awareness that is uncommon, coupled with a wisdom and intellect that is also even more so. I also know even in the saying of this exactly how true it may be without being able to prove the right credentials or show the right approach it will all fall flat and no one will care to listen. I will be devoid of any benefits that i might be able to share with anyone.

I am learning how to express these things to all who would listen. I am learning to understand the importance of myself doing so in that it is truly my purpose in life. The questions will come when I decide how to use what I am preparing for.

My wife was my first test and it has taken over 20 years of my efforts to begin to reach her. She is helping me to write this book. I am learning the words and ways to express clearly things that I have seen and understood that most have not even begun to fathom. There is someone out there saying just about any thing that can be thought. From most of what I see, they are clueless and do not even realize it. What I can see takes them into account and encompasses them and all things in to a total picture. Each day I am understanding more but more importantly each day I am understanding more how vital my role is in all of this.

Unfortunately the thing I do not understand is how to exercise my role effectively. Everyone possesses the capability to open their mouths and let all that is within their minds come flowing out for all that would hear. Today they can be heard by all if they were to find a way to capture the attention of the masses briefly and would be found to have something worthy to say.

It is amazing today how with all the saying that so many do there is so little being said. The internet has brought the ability to do this to everyone and yet so little of value seems to be being said. Television and other mindless activities that used to harness and control the unconsciously aware as it too over other waste of time pastimes like messaging one another in the effects of harnessing and controlling. It would be fine if it was leading somewhere positive but so much of it seems utterly worthless distraction.

When I realized this I left the crowds and went my way. I was once a part of it all and thought that I could help but found myself completely ineffectual as one of those that operated with in the system. I now realize that I must operate outside of the system in order to be different enough to both escape the harms and ills that all those inside are exposed to and also to hone and sharpen what I have to offer in order to gain the means to express it in the most positive way possible.

If this is not done within my life perhaps others will come and take up what I have started. I can not take credit for any of this though. It was not of my developing. It has become clear to me that all this was all given to me and I was meant to utilized it only. The part I am having difficulty with is understanding how and getting those around me to understand and support me in my role and managing the life circumstances I now find myself in that inhibit me from reaching my full functional potential.

The focus required I feel may come from the writing of this book and the growth that my wife and I may experience together after our 20 years of marriage. We have slipped and and fallen victim to some of the same traps that others have fallen victim to and we are now more qualified to help than we ever would have been before because during the entire process our conscious was being built through analytical analysis the entire time. I continually spoke with my wife about this all the entire time but much of what i went through went unobserved and misunderstood through out the entire time. It really can take a long time for two individuals to really become one and benefit from what they are building together and that is if they are even actually trying.

I often compare marriage to a pair of scissors. We are connected and work together but we must each also separate and work on our own development and sharpness. My wife has towed the line in her own way over the time we spent together but our blades though joined were not being fashioned comparably in order to make a decisive and skillful cut that we were both consciously aware of and holding the design to as we orchestrate it together.

This is where we have been but do not understand fully and in unison in unison where we are or are going because as part of our conscious enlightenment both jointly and singularly we have become consciously aware of the importance of these things and now that we have spent half our life together not fully understanding them or valuing them on the level we could have we have some ground to catch up.